|Your butt is not disgusting
There is nothing disgusting about a butt. Our
butt is just a portion of our skin, similar to the skin on our face,
hands, and legs. Furthermore, our anus is not much different from our
mouth. The most significant difference between a mouth and an anus is
that they contain a different collection of bacteria.
The odor of poop causes us to assume poop is extremely dangerous, but
if a person is not sick, is the bacteria in his anus any more dangerous
than the bacteria that are living in his mouth?
If people could get over their inhibitions and study this issue, we
might find that when a person is in good health, the bacteria that is
coming out of his anus is no more dangerous to us than the bacteria in
his mouth. To rephrase that concept, kissing a person's mouth may be as
dangerous as kissing his anus.
Some people claim that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human mouth, but
is that really true? I suspect that people make that claim simply
because they want to justify kissing their dog, and letting their dog
lick their face and hands.
If we were to seriously analyze the mouths of dogs, we might find that
their mouth has as much potentially dangerous bacteria as a human butt,
in which case letting a dog lick your face may be as risky as letting
somebody wipe their poop on your face.
Even more interesting, we might discover that if we were to kiss one
another on their anus, we would sometimes pick up some beneficial
bacteria. That might be useful when a person has had such a high level
of antibiotics that a lot of the helpful bacteria in his intestines
If your poop is oily, you may be eating too much oil
I wonder if some of the people who are
horrified at the thought of cleaning their butt with their hand is
because they have extremely stinky, messy poop.
If our digestive system is working properly, and if we are eating
appropriate foods in appropriate quantities, our poop will come out in
fairly neat, clean packages. It is not
true that everybody's poop has the same stench or consistency. Some
people truly do have better poop.
If our poop is oily, it will be difficult to clean our butt with water.
We would need to use some soap, but that makes the process
considerably more time-consuming and annoying.
If people could control their inhibitions enough to study poop in a
serious manner, we would eventually acquire a lot of valuable
information about how different foods affect our poop; how the
quantities of food affect it; and how the subtle genetic differences in
our digestive systems affect it.
Why is it that poop is sometimes oily? My guess is that it happens when
a person has consumed more oil than his body is capable of digesting.
Each of us has a limit on how much oil we can digest, so what happens
when we eat an excess of oil? My guess is that the excess passes
through undigested, thereby allowing bacteria to feed on it, which in
turn can result in stinky gases. However, some of the oil may pass
through without being digested by bacteria, thereby creating oily poop.
We might also suffer from oily poop when something interferes with our
digestion, such as particular diseases, or when we abuse certain drugs,
or when we become extremely overtired.
We enjoy foods that have a high oil content, so we put lots of butter
and other oils in our foods, and we give excessive amounts of food to
cattle to make them unnaturally fat. Foie gras is another example of
how we enjoy oily foods.
I suspect that most people are consuming more oil than they can digest,
and that some of it is passing through their intestines undigested,
thereby creating oily poop. One reason I suspect this is because of a
remark made by Ed Savitz,
who was accused of being part of a pedophile network
with Jerry Sandusky. Savitz was one of those people who enjoy eating
poop, and he told the boys that they should eat more cheese in order to
make their poop taste better. That could be evidence that eating a lot
of cheese, or other oily foods, results in some of the oils passing
through undigested, thereby giving the poop a better flavor or
People who eat excessive amounts of cheese may be creating cheese
flavored poop. What happens when people eat excessive amounts of
permanent oil, orange oil, or coconut oil? How does asparagus affect
the flavor and consistency?
We might learn something about our digestive system by interviewing the
people who eat poop. We gain nothing by ridiculing those people, but we
might learn something about our digestive system by asking them to
describe how different foods affect poop. They might be able to provide
some details of our digestive system that scientists would never have
Obesity may be due mainly to carbohydrates,
Many people assume that eating excessive amounts of fat will cause us
to accumulate fat on our bodies, but that may be false because
digesting fat requires that our liver produce bile, and our liver can
produce only a small quantity of bile each day. I suspect that the
amount of bile we produce limits the amount of fat that we can digest.
Furthermore, after the fat is digested, it has to go through a complex
process to become fat on our body, and each of us has slightly
different genetic abilities to put the digested fat into storage.
To add to the complexity, different races of humans are likely to have
slightly different genetic characteristics in their ability to digest
and store fat, and there are differences in the manner in which men and
women accumulate fat. There is also likely to be a difference between
the way children and adults handle fats and other nutrients.
A significant percentage of the population today is overweight, but
they may not be overweight because they have eaten too much fat.
Rather, they might be overweight because they have eaten an excessive
amount of carbohydrates.
Does fat cause our
arteries to clog?
What happens to fat after it has been digested and enters our
bloodstream? The answer is that it depends upon the person. Each of us
have slightly different genetic characteristics, so we process fat
Some people may have a body that quickly and efficiently puts fat into
storage, but other people's bodies may allow the globules of fat to
circulate for hours or days, which might cause a variety of health
Nobody today truly understands how fat affects human health, and we
don't know much about the genetic differences between different people,
so all of the "experts" on cholesterol and fat should suppress their
arrogance and push for more funding of health related projects.
Make your anus protrude when you clean it
In order to truly clean our butt properly, we
must clean our anus while it is extended outwards. (I mentioned
how our anus sticks out here,
if you are unaware of this concept.)
Once it retracts, any bits of poop that were on it will be caught in
that ring of muscle around our anus. Unfortunately, it is not likely to
remain in that ring of muscle. It is likely to slowly ooze out onto our
butt and underwear.
If you have a standalone bidet, your anus is very likely to retract
when you get up from the toilet and move over to the bidet. Therefore,
to clean it properly on a standalone bidet, after you sit down on the
bidet, you have to go through the process of making your anus extend
itself outward again, and the only way to do that is to go through the
motions of forcing yourself to poop again, which is a nuisance. It is
easier to clean your anus while you are still sitting on the toilet.
After you have finished pooping, your anus will be protruding, which
makes it easy to clean.
It is awkward to dry off
If you are too inhibited to use your hand to
clean your butt, and all you do is spray your butt with some water,
some of the poop will wash off, but some of it is likely to continue
sticking to your skin. Then, when you dry your butt with some toilet
paper, you'll smear the wet poop all over you, possibly making more of
a mess than if you had never sprayed yourself with water.
It is much better to use your hand to clean the area completely, and
then your butt will be clean enough that you can use a small towel to
dry off with.
The act of drying your butt is the most awkward part because, as you
get up, the water that is on your butt will to start running down your
legs. The best way to avoid this problem is to have a small towel in
your hand while you are still seated on the toilet, and put the towel
over your butt as soon as you begin standing up.
I dry my butt with a small washing cloth, but
perhaps one of you would like to experiment with a towel that fits your
hand, like those in the photo to the right.
If you have cleaned yourself properly, the towel will not
become filthy. There will likely be some microscopic bits of poop, but
before you let that bother you, consider that the people who don't
use their hand to
clean their butt will have lots of poop in their underwear, and they
likely to get some poop on their hands as they wipe themselves with
toilet paper. Furthermore, some of their poop might occasionally pass
through their clothing and onto the chairs they sit on. They
will also get poop in swimming pools and on bed sheets.
Which people would you rather be living with:
a) People who clean their butt with their hand and water.
b) People who have poop smeared on their butt.
We should design better
Toilets and bathrooms have improved
during the past few thousand years, so what are the chances that the
toilets we use today are going to be in use 10,000 years in the future?
Businesses put a lot of research into developing better cell phones,
pet products, and cosmetics, but we ought to put some effort into
designing better toilets. In this
document, I suggested straightening the serpentine path of toilets, and
now I will suggest that toilets be designed so that we can more easily use our hand to clean our butt.
It is somewhat awkward and uncomfortable to use our hand on existing
toilets because they were not intended for that purpose.
I would bet that if businesses began putting some effort into
experimenting with toilets, some business would eventually design a
toilet that is significantly more convenient. I suggest experimenting
with making the toilet seat wider in the rear, and making it longer,
and by shaping it so that we don't slide towards the back of it. That
might enable us to sit on it comfortably while having enough room to
get our hand on our butt.
A top view of a
conventional toilet (on the left),
and what I suggest experimenting with, (on the right).
making the toilet longer in the rear, and making the water tank
taller and more narrow, there would be enough space for us to
hand in the back without touching the water, toilet seat, or
toilet bowl. This would also reduce the amount of water that gets on
|A side view of the toilet I
suggest experimenting with.
|For cleaning poop, I suggest
experimenting with a stream of water spraying downward, with
nozzle outside of the toilet.
For women who want to rinse off after peeing, it might be better to
provide the toilets with an additional, handheld sprayer, similar to this
one by Rinseworks. However, it would be more convenient if those
handheld devices had a pressure valve to ensure the water pressure in
the hose is always very low. By restricting the water to a low
pressure, we don't have to worry about the hose developing a leak,
which in turn means that we don't have to turn the main valve on and
off every time we want to use it. It will also allow the hose to be
more flexible and lighter in weight.
How about a "car wash" style
We clean our mouth with a toothbrush, and we
have car washing machines that rub a car with brushes, and I wonder if
people in the distant future overcome their inhibitions enough to
create a toilet that presses some type of rotating or vibrating brush
up against our butt to clean it, and presses a small, round device
slightly inside the anus to clean the inside of it. The device would
retract and be sanitized after use.
Then a small towel could come out to press up against our skin to
remove the excess water. It could be a disposable sheet of toilet paper
that is dropped in the toilet after use, or it could be similar to the
continuous cloth towels that some bathrooms have for drying our hands.
With that type of toilet, we would never have to use our hands to clean
our butt, or be irritated by water spraying into the bathroom or
trickling down our legs.
How about an enema-style of
There is at least one bidet that has such a
strong spray that it claims that it can tear apart hardpacked poop for
people who have problems with constipation, but is it really sensible
to have a powerful spray of water blasting upward at our butt to knock
out chunks of poop? That might spray poop all over the toilet, the
person, and the bathroom.
The people who suffer from constipation might be better off with a
small water hose that they can insert into their anus, like an enema.
Toilets would be more
expensive, but so what?
A truly better toilet would be more expensive,
which brings up an interesting issue that you ought to contemplate.
Specifically, what are you living your life for? What do you want from
life? What do you really benefit from?
Some people spend thousands of dollars every year on alcohol,
marijuana, pets, jewelry, cosmetics, and expensive processed foods,
such as breakfast cereals and potato chips. Some people also put a lot
of money into expensive automobiles, boats, and houses.
If we were to design some high-quality toilets that have a long life
and are easy to maintain, and which are more comfortable to sit on and
more convenient to use, the initial price might be many times as much
as a typical toilet. The additional expense of the toilet would mean
that we must sacrifice some other products that we are currently
However, if the toilet is designed well, we will only have to purchase
a toilet once.
We would occasionally have to replace the rubber seals, but that would
be a small expense. Therefore, the high initial cost of the toilet
would not be significant.
Most of us will spend between 5,000 and 20,000 hours sitting on a
toilet during our lifetime. Why not put some effort into making that
time more pleasant and convenient?